Kate's bedroom is her sanctuary. It's where she feels most comfortable, safe and free to be herself. Filled with all her favorite and precious belongings, all seems right with the world in her room. She can listen to music, journal, look through her friends social media posts and have a snack from her mini-fridge. Not to mention her most favorite activity of all, watching TV. We have subscriptions to several major streaming services and she pretty much has unlimited access to all her favorite shows.
Sounds like a Kate paradise to be sure. But, unfortunately that's also a big problem. It's too nice, too comfortable, too 'safe' and it's difficult to lure her out it of at times. She'd rather burrow in her room most days. I'm caught between having her enjoy self determination as a young adult and having her expand her comfort zone. We want her to try new things, explore, be a part of the community. This would be her life if I do nothing and let it happen. She would be perfectly comfortable hiding away in the safety of her room.
As much as I would like her to experience the personal dignity of making her own decisions, that's not the life I know she really wants. She's playing it safe at the cost of a richer, more vibrant life. How do I turn this around? There will come a day when I am no longer here and I want to leave her better prepared to live a more fulfilling life.
I enlist friends and family for activities I know she enjoys doing, like going to breakfast, shopping, museums, movies and parks. As a matter of fact, Kate and her best friend from 4th grade are headed out right now to pick up some lunch from Panera. Now that we all have our Covid shots, there will be more opportunities to entice Kate out of her bedroom and the house. I am looking for art and yoga classes for her to try. These are things we already know she likes to do.
When all is said and done, the goal is not to let her slide into a lonely, isolated existence. There's not going to be a quick fix for this and activities in the community have to routinely be build into the schedule. So get the calendar out and write them in!
Comments