I am talking about parents, guardians and primary caregivers. Carying the responsibility of caring for a special needs child or adult is an enormous undertaking no matter how noble or rewarding the endeavor. There can be high levels of stress, fatigue, depression and a general sense of feeling overwhelmed. Kate is undoubtedly the joy of my life and yet, I have experienced all of these issues in the last 20 years.
It began to occur to me that I needed to change my life if I was going to truly enjoy the journey that life had set out for me in raising Kate. This had never occurred to me until I started to considered what the 'big picture' might look like for me and Kate in the years to come. After years of advocating and attending to all Kate's needs I began to realize that I need to carve out some time for myself. My health and wellbeing would be just as important as Kate's in the long haul.
I started out with simple things like re-organizing my home. I went through the house and got rid of anything that wasn't necessary or pleasing. I let go of stuff saved because I thought I could use it one day or someone gave to me and I was keeping it out of a sense of obligation. Even sentimental items were pared down to something much more manageable and enjoyable. Yes, I 'Marie Kondo-ed" it all. My environment became calming and I knew where everything was! It was liberating and I felt lighter.
Next I turned to my diet. Instead of my usual food-free-for-all, I made healthy and organic choices. I used delivery options like Butcher Box and Insta-cart. This also lightened my load. I choose healthier food options and they were delivered to my door. Meal planning was so much easier. Next up is some sort of exercise plan. I know the benefits of exercising are tremendous. Just waiting for the motivation to get there, but I know it will. Baby steps on that one.
Trying to stay open-minded, I looked into meditation and breathing. I wasn't really expecting much and was quite surprised when I discovered how much of a positive difference it made in my life. I also streamed a few Tai Chi lessons. Again , I found it to be very peaceful and relaxing. Such small tweaks yielded great benefits. My sons say I am becoming a little hippie-like, but I have to say this was very much like a spiritual journey of sorts for me.
Kate definitely benefitted from these changes. Our house was peaceful, organized and calm (except for our 18 month old rescue dog). Kate and I both had more free time for friends and activities. I was calmer, less stressed and more relaxed about the future. We weren't perfect, but we had a good start. My advice is to try and center yourself. Carve out some time for just yourself by meeting up with friends, mani-pedi appointments or whatever you enjoy.
Strive to keep your home environment calm and organized. Create and surround yourself in good energy. Your well-being is directly connected to your child's well-being. It's a symbiotic relationship, your journeys are bound together. It benefits the greater good to take care of yourself!
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